Torah Times Circular = Jewish Ad FAIL

My wife (Arielle) picked up this circular in one of the kosher restaurants torahtimes in midtown today and was excited to show this to me. I love ads, especially bad ones. Props to Arielle for cherry picking the following ads, which are ripe for parody.

The following are from the Torah Times circular, Week of March 10-16, 2010:

  • Shticky Sushi – this ad for a new Kosher Sushi place seemed cool at first. Nice logo. Massive Sushi menu. Great. One problem. I have no idea where this place is. There’s a 718 phone number, but that could mean Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island or the Bronx. No idea. So I figured, I’ll go to their website. Pretty cool website, especially for a Kosher place, right? I looked everywhere. No address. Nothing. What’s even weirder… it says “curbside pickup also available”. Is this a joke? Curbside sushi pickup to a place no one can find? Good luck. >> You guys need marketing assistance. Feel free to contact meClick for Ad Image
  • Joe Lazar for City Council – I only vote for heimeshe people that are warm and fuzzy … Click for Ad Image

Ridiculous Jewish / Pesach (Passover) Products:

    I’m actually pissed off I didn’t invent any Kosher for Pesach products. Maybe I should start a Kosher for Passover website: “This site contains no chametz or gebrochts“.

    Are these products necessary? If you have purchased (or feel the need to purchase) the products below, please comment on this post to explain why, and include your halachic / textual reference. I’m honestly curious to read why we need them.

  • Kosher Passover Pans – seriously? are regular pans laced with breadcrumbs? … Click for Ad Image
  • Palisades Aluminum Foil – same shtuyot (stupidity) as the above product… Click for Ad Image
  • Glatt Water – Water … with extra special Glatt nutrients! … Click for Ad Image
  • Swarovski Crystal Pesach Collection — 1) This ad screams of 2 copyright or trademark infringements. 2) Crystals on your seder paraphernalia? Why? Why? 3) This is selling for $500!! … Click for Ad Image